Releasing the Reins

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

But we will remember and trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Psalm 20:7

It sure is easy to fall into trusting in ourselves and our resources instead of trusting God.  I don’t know why, after so MANY lessons God has taught me, that I fall into doing things in my own strength.  Ugh!  And every time, I could slap myself for doing so!   Don’t I know better?!

I’m amazed that God doesn’t give up on me.  Failures and mistakes - one after another - but He keeps bringing me back home to His heart.  Though I waywardly stray from His will, He brings me back to the center of it.  He’s such a good Father!  He has such an endless supply of love and mercy.

When we follow Him, we find rest from the worry that comes from trusting in ourselves and planning our own futures.  Because never in our own planning and striving do we find true rest or peace.  We are always working to get ahead of the potential obstacles and shortcomings.  Always needing a Plan B.  Always wondering what’s coming up around the bend.  When our horse might veer off the path or come to a screeching halt without warning.

I think it’s in connecting to the Vine that we find the peace we long for.  When we connect heart-to-heart with Him, we experience His goodness, His kindness, His faithfulness.  We realize that He has our best in mind.  He has good things for us.  We can trust Him - with ourselves and our children.  When we stay connected to His heart, we discern His voice and glimpse His plans.  We hear His encouraging words that say, “Keep going, baby girl.  We are together in this.  I won’t let you down.”

It’s in those moments of sweet intimacy with Him that we find the rest we need and become centered once again on Him.  We let go of our tight grip on the reins and relax into Him.  We allow Him to take the lead and carry us onward.  His eyes don’t fail in the darkness.  Darkness is light to Him.  He knows what’s coming up ahead and is prepared for it.  His legs don’t falter against the terrain.  He is steady.  He is calm.  He is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control - all rolled into One.  There is no fear of being thrown, because His strength is surefooted and controlled.  

Yes, He is the One to trust in.  He is our Faithful and True.  He is the One Who will deliver us safely to our destination.  He will be the One that loves us unconditionally the whole way there.  It is He.  Our Lord and our God.  Praise and honor and glory belong to Him!  

Thank you, God, for being so trustworthy.  Help us to remember and put our trust in You alone.  Keep us centered and continually speak to our hearts.  Give us courage to let go of the reins and just let You have your way.  Your strength carries us further than we could ever hope to carry ourselves. And Your goodness brings us peace.  

Now and Then

Here we go!  It’s back to school time.  A flurry of shopping for school supplies and sneakers, teacher meet-and-greets, school tours and more has braced us for the fact it’s time to start a new year.  Excitement mixed with a dab of anxiety swirls together on each of my kids’ faces.  

Summer was so welcomed by all.  But just as it always does, summer came and went so quickly.  As a mom, I want to hold onto summer with two hands and wrestle to keep it here a little longer.  Although on days when my kids are less than happy with one another at home, letting go doesn’t seem so bad!   

As a youth, I couldn’t wait for the next phase. I was always reaching for the next season. From middle school to high school.  High school to college.  Then I couldn’t wait to be done with school in general so I could enter the “real”  world.  (That one was sheer ignorance!)   Later, it grew into a longing to be married.  Then to have a baby.  Then for the next phase of growth in those babies that did come.  

I suppose it’s natural.  We are maturing, transforming, evolving.  Some might say it was a lack of contentment.  If that is so, then contentment for me was evasive.  I slipped in and out of it like the tides.  But I’m increasingly aware that the contentment, the satisfaction we crave, can only be found in the Lord.  Our lives need to be grounded in Him, for in Him we find our true selves and fall into a sweet place of worship.  

There’s a tension between living in the present but living for the future.  I love my kids being at home with me but long to see what they will grow up to become.  I love their innocent childhood, yet anticipate their launch into adulthood.  Don’t get me wrong, I will always wish I could hold them a little longer.  Snuggle them a little closer.  But part of what makes motherhood so amazing is seeing them fly.  

Still, this tension between now and then.  I have been saved, but I look forward to the full salvation that comes when Christ returns.  I love this dance with God as He teaches me more about Himself (and myself), yet I can hardly wait to see Him face to face in all His glory.  I love living life with my family in the beauty of His creation, but know there’s a coming kingdom “home” that is so much better.  There is contentment yet reaching.  

We just need to make sure that what we are reaching for is the Lord.  We are reaching for His goodness.  We are reaching for His likeness.  Not striving, because Jesus has gifted us with salvation and right standing with God.  But reaching for the ‘more’ that God has promised us.  The abundant life that He holds for us.  The connection, the abiding in Him, that is offered to us.   

David cried out to the Lord from the desert He found himself in:

O God, you are my God;

   I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you;

   my whole body longs for you

in this parched and weary land

   where there is no water.

I have seen you in your sanctuary

   and gazed upon your power and glory.

Your unfailing love is better than life itself;

   how I praise you!

I will praise you as long as I live,

   lifting up my hands to you in prayer.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast.

   I will praise you with songs of joy.

I lie awake thinking of you,

   meditating on you through the night.

Psalm 63:1-6

Though David was in the wilderness, He focused His gaze on the One Who is and is to come.  He found contentment in His God.  Though David’s circumstances may not have been ideal, He was grounded in the salvation and deliverance of God Most High.  He worshipped.  He worshipped who God was for Him in the desert, and He worshipped who God would be in the future.  He looked forward to the day when God would silence the liars, those plotting to destroy him.  

Because you are my helper,

   I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.

I cling to you;

   your strong right hand holds me securely.

But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.

   They will go down into the depths of the earth

They will die by the sword

   and become the food of jackals.

But the king will rejoice in God.

   All who swear to tell the truth will praise him,

   while liars will be silenced.

Psalm 63:7-11

I, too, look forward to the day when God silences the liar.  When He forever destroys the enemy and the grave.  In the meantime, I will praise my God who is and is to come.  I will worship Him in the beauty of His splendor, both now and then.  Now in part, then in full.  

God, I thank You for saving me.  I thank You for the glimpse at Your majesty that inspires my worship.  I thank You for being here with me in the present.  But I also look forward to the day when you come back for me and take me to my heavenly home with our whole family.  I pray that You give me eyes to see what You’re doing now and what You will do then.  I pray that my contentment and satisfaction will always and only be found in You.  It is You I praise and long for in this dry and weary land.  It is You I will praise and be with in paradise forever.  I love You. Amen.

Created with Purpose

    

     Sunday afternoon I had the chance to sit on the ground near some flowers in
our yard. The kids joined me a while as we watched a butterfly sipping on some nectar.  The kids were fascinated by it's little "straw" it drank through. It was such a
refreshing moment, just to take in His creation, His beauty, His peace. It
really refreshed me in a way that I have missed so often. Just to sit full
of wonder at something so simple yet so divinely complex and intricate. A
butterfly on a flower. It occurred to me that they have such purpose and
they know and fulfill their purpose with such quiet dignity and grace.
Something may come at them - a gust of wind for instance - but they reset
their course and keep on flying, seemingly unscathed by the blast of air
that tries to push them off course. They seek out a patch of flowers and get back to their purpose.

     So often we step from a peaceful garden into the rushhour of "life" - busy,
polluted, and loud. We allow our joy and peace to slowly be stripped away
from our grasp, our purpose to become clouded. All sorts of voices work to
deceive and lure us into believing lies - about ourselves, about God, about
life. The voices work to distract us from worship, from community, from
purpose. The moment we make a poor choice, the voices begin highlighting our
failure, suggesting the improbability that His grace could cover us,
reminding us of our history of screw ups. Then, in shame, we run from
freedom and into prison cells. Sometimes, it's someone else's mistake that
pushes into the prison - the vehicle delivering us there is called
unforgiveness.

     Either way, prison is not the place for children of God to
dwell. It is not the intended lifestyle we were created to have. No - we
were created for freedom, for abundant life, for love and for great purpose.
Nevertheless, we end up duped into the life of bondage and numb ourselves to
the pain and grief we feel at our separation from our Father. We imagine Him
angry and "over us", our mistakes too much for Him to handle - again. But
He hasn't changed - we have. Out of pride or disbelief or blindness or
apathy, we often sit imprisoned in a web of lies and hopelessness, rather
than planting our two feet firmly on His foundation and accepting His
forgiveness and grace and promises. Do we believe the Word of God or don't
we?

     He says that "as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our
transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12) Let's take that to heart! He also
says, "neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be
able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
(Romans 8:39) When we experience "separation" or distance from God, don't
look at Him as the culprit. Look no further than a mirror. We have to be
responsible with what He's given us. 2 Tim 1:14 says, "Guard the good
deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit
who lives in us." He has given us grace, mercy, love, purpose, and an
inheritance. He has commissioned us to go out and share the Good News, make
disciples, and heal those who haven't received from Him yet. We have what
it takes and are equipped with all we need. "For this reason I remind you
to fan into flame the gift of God…" (2 Tim 1:6)

     I'm speaking to my own spirit, body and soul as I write this. It's time to
wake up! To fully engage in what God has in front of me right now. It may
not be the final position or place He has me in, but it's where I am now.
It's where I have authority and influence right now. Not tomorrow when I
get it all together. Not tomorrow when this or that lines up. Not when I
have more time. No - now. Lives are at stake all around us, souls bent on
destruction rather than salvation that need to hear from the Lord. He so
desires to partner with us in His work. His Spirit beckons us…let's respond
with a resounding YES, Lord!

"Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today', so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end…'Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.'" (Hebrews 3:13-15)

Kerri Barfield
8/14/12

Wrestling Match

Every now and again I find myself in a wrestling match. It’s a tension between knowing His promises but not seeing the reality of them. I came across this verse and it brought some peace to me. 

Philippians 3:20 "But we are different, because our citizenship is in heaven. And from there we eagerly await the coming of the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ"

We are citizens of heaven. We are being made into the likeness of our holy God more and more every day.  While the transformation is not complete, we do see glimpses of Kingdom life more and more. We read His promises and see His provision in greater and greater ways. 

Yet here we are on the earth. We see people get hurt, enslaved, killed. We see our homeland assaulted by terrorism. We see our leaders argue and assault each other's heart. This is not our home. It's growing more and more hostile here. I'm not sure it's worse than times long ago, but it seems worse to me. Perhaps because I've transferred my citizenship to heaven. Perhaps because my measuring stick is Christ. My grid is Kingdom. The focus is becoming the permanent instead of the temporal. 

And when it isn't...that's when I fall into the wrestling match. I do those things which I don't want to do. I agree with unfavorable thoughts and my focus gets shifted to something of lesser worth.  I overreact to my circumstances. I get frustrated with myself and the way I respond to it all. I fall out of rhythm in my dance with God. My faith weakens. "Why so downcast oh my soul? Trust in God" is the psalm that passes through my mind. 

And so I focus in on the scriptures and I turn on the worship music. I begin to remember that I know God is good and God is present. God is sovereign. He is faithful. He is just. He is peace and He is love. And He has promised salvation to those who trust in Him. His word doesn't return void but accomplishes what it was meant to. I remember that my life is in His.  And I am comforted and my focus realigned. 

Sometimes I need my brothers and sisters to redirect my thoughts. In a place of prayer and ministry, I am refreshed and renewed. I get back on track and regain my steadiness. Encouragement from fellow believers is essential to my walk. I need them. 

If you find yourself caught in this tension, take heart. While the world may be wasting away, we who are in Christ can wholeheartedly trust the One who is Faithful and True to save, heal and deliver us from the clutches of evil. One day we will walk in unhindered freedom. One day we will walk where the streets are gold and the lion lays down with the lamb. One day we will have every tear wiped away. One day there will be perfect peace and joy and love and we will live in harmony. That is our hope. That is what helps us endure the wait. 

Lord, help us trust in and wait for Your return to bring us to our true home with You. Help us to run our race here with courage. Give us a steadfast spirit. Give us eyes to see You in everything.  We need You and love You. Amen. 

Kerri Barfield
6/17/16

Love Overtake Me

"Let love overtake me and flow through my veins."

Here's a line in a worship song I have been listening to. I'm making it a daily prayer for myself.  For Love to flood me. God is love.  So may God's Holy Spirit overtake me and flow in and through me...so I can surrender to His masterful leading. 

Once while at a church conference, we heard several speakers talk about love and community. One woman shared many personal experiences that encouraged my heart greatly.  One of the phrases she kept repeating over and over was "insert love here".  She would share about people (herself included) messing up or making mistakes and how community around them would ‘insert love’ in those moments of failure - showing grace and honor, knowing it could just as easily happen to them. 

We all screw up. Make mistakes. Stumble.  I believe community is imperative so that when our mistakes bring us discouragement and condemnation and shame, we have someone to pull us up out of the mud. Let's face it - sometimes our shame and condemnation drowns out God's voice of grace and forgiveness. We begin believing the lie that we are no longer worthy or that restoration is impossible - that this mistake was just too big.  We need friends and family to show us grace and encourage us to get back up, dust off and keep running the race. Someone to remind us who we are and Whose we are. 

Love covers a multitude of sins. And Jesus modeled this for us - His unquenchable love flowed over us to cleanse us of all iniquity. And we are commissioned to follow in His footsteps. 1 Peter 4:8 says "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

When we run into Love, we are changed.  Being loved brings freedom, healing to our brokenness and a renewal of hope. Hope in God's plan for us, in our salvation and restoration, in the goodness of God and His creation, and hope in relationship with God and others. 

Like slipping on a coat, we need to wear love. Wrap up in it and wrap it around others, too. It's safe, warm and thick, protecting us from the storms and the cold. It keeps our hearts soft. 

What would it look like if everyone dressed themselves in love?  And took up residence in a loving, grace-filled community?  Maybe a little like heaven...

1 Corinthians 13

 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part,  but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

Kerri Barfield

November 11, 2011

Help in the Desert

I find it so interesting that Jesus entered a period of fasting in the desert just after He was declared Son of God and baptized. Scripture says there was a voice from heaven that spoke, "this is My Son..." and the Holy Spirit landed on Him like a dove. (Matthew 3:16-17)  Then in Matthew 4:1 we see Jesus going into the desert with the Holy Spirit as His guide.

The thought pops into my head that we must know who we are in Christ in order to survive the desert. We have to understand that God made us, longs to be with us, and did something to guarantee we could be with Him. He bridged the gap of our sins with His Son.  He invited us to be adopted into His family as sons and daughters. 

When we become aware that we have been grafted into His family, we become committed to the discovery of Who He is and what that means for us.  His promises are revealed like treasures.  His Word shines like a light to our path.  We see His goodness and mercy.  We see His plans for us - plans that are full of hope.  As our vision becomes clear, we are settled into a deep peace and trust in Him that breaks the power of temptation in the dry places. 

If Jesus had to fast in the desert and face the devil, we can probably assess we will too. Life is not guaranteed to hand us lemonade everyday. Sometimes we get tossed the whole lemon. But our Father can turn that sour lemon into sweet lemonade when we partner with Him and submit to His recipe. Knowing you are a daughter (or son) diffuses the temptation to doubt God and His intentions. Knowing He is a good Father snuffs out many of those fiery darts that tempt us to believe otherwise - that make us doubt He will provide, protect and remain our Father.  

Isn't it so typical of satan to try to make us doubt our Father?  He did it to Adam and Eve in the garden and has been trying ever since to make us doubt God and His promises. He tries to make us think we need to take care of ourselves, provide for ourselves, protect ourselves, promote ourselves, plan our own future. 

Knowing our identity and knowing our Father is critical. It is not done in a day. He introduces Himself to us constantly - new facets of His character. It is a journey and story of a lifetime.  It’s a relationship that lasts.  He asks us to let go of our misconceptions and preconceived notions of who He is, and asks us to be in fellowship with Him so He can show us Who He is.  

The good news is Jesus survived the desert and overcame the devil's tempting. He knew Who He was and He trusted in His Father.  Was it easy?  I doubt it. Fasting 40 days, becoming hungry, and then being faced with the tormenter and his aggravating temptations?  But He had the Holy Spirit and the Word of life inside of Him...and He placed His faith in His Father.   

Once Jesus ascended into Heaven, He sent the Spirit to teach and remind us of truth, comfort us, and help us in our journey. The Word is our sword, and the Spirit teaches us to wield it.  We must learn to dance with God in such a way that we give God the freedom to be Who He is...and where He can teach us to be who we are meant to be. Then we will be able to stand strong against temptation.  We will be able to see the “way of escape” God provides.  “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Cor 10:13

Jesus, we need Your Holy Spirit to strengthen and empower us to withstand the temptations that come our way.  We need the Spirit to show us the way to go.  We need the Word deep in our hearts to keep us from withering in the desert places.  We will not trust in ourselves to keep us from falling, we will trust in You.  We will depend on You to be our shield and our strong tower.  You are so good and so faithful and we love that You’re our God!  You alone are worthy of worship!

Courage

     Sometimes we need to have someone speak this over us in order to keep running our race.  Let's face it, we get so tired sometimes.  Disheartened.  Bumps in the road occur and we feel jostled around so much that we need a shot of courage to continue onward.

     With my kids finishing the school year, I've had to continually encourage them to finish strong.  They've been going strong since August 1st and have even undergone a life change half way through in the form of a move.  Change is not easy for anyone, but I have felt particularly compassionate toward my three champions who have had to start over in the middle of a school year.  New schools, new friends, new teachers, new home.  And I think they've handled it all better than I have!!

     The "new" can be challenging to us all, and I'm starting to understand it's because we are learning to trust God.  The old becomes comfortable and can seem easy to navigate because of it's familiarity.  The new is unknown territory that can make us wonder if we've made the right decisions.  Or if we have what it takes.  Sometimes we wonder if God understood that we liked the old, comfortably familiar place.  (God does know that, by the way.)

     When seasons change, we can be sure we will need someone to speak courage to our hearts.  Someone that will help us look at the positive.  Someone that will help us see that God is doing a new thing.  He's growing us, pruning us, blessing us, protecting us, and equipping us through the change.

     Courage means the ability to do something that frightens us, or strength when facing pain or grief.  To encourage, then, is to give support, confidence, or hope to someone.  We need to continually receive and give courage.  It's such a wonderful feeling, isn't it?  To have courage to do something you were intimidated by?  Or to encourage a friend to?

Then a woman who had suffered from a hemorrhage for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His outer robe;  for she had been saying to herself, “If I only touch His outer robe, I will be healed.”  But Jesus turning and seeing her said, “Take courage, daughter; your [personal trust and confident] faith [in Me] has made you well.” And at once the woman was [completely] healed.  Matthew 9:20-22

      This passage has always blessed me.  This woman, after such long-suffering, had the courage to reach out and touch Jesus.  Somehow she knew she would be well if she could touch even a tassel of His robe.  And the fact that Jesus knew someone had touched Him specifically for healing!  With crowds of people pressing against Him as He walked, He knew someone received from Him in that moment.  In one account (Luke 8), it says Jesus asked who had touched Him, and she came forth "with fear and trembling" confessing she had been the one.  She courageously came forward to claim her healing and proclaim He had healed her.  His reaction?  He said, "take courage; your faith made you well."  And it was so.

     Whatever is before you now, dear heart, have courage.  Know that the Holy Spirit is alive in you and will help you.  Remember the saints that have gone before you and courageously stood up to their giants.  Remember Jesus is interceding for you and cheering you on. Remember that you have brothers and sisters in the faith that are with you.  Let your heart grab hold of a juicy piece of courage and go forward, believing that on the other side will be your healing…your victory.

Jesus, encourage our hearts to believe…to run the race…to dream…to love.  And when we grow weary, rally the troops and send someone to remind us who we are and to have courage to step out in faith.  To reach for You.  To believe our healing and our victory are within arm's length.  To believe You will be there when we reach for You, and You will look in our eyes and say, "Take courage, daughter."