Releasing the Reins

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

But we will remember and trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Psalm 20:7

It sure is easy to fall into trusting in ourselves and our resources instead of trusting God.  I don’t know why, after so MANY lessons God has taught me, that I fall into doing things in my own strength.  Ugh!  And every time, I could slap myself for doing so!   Don’t I know better?!

I’m amazed that God doesn’t give up on me.  Failures and mistakes - one after another - but He keeps bringing me back home to His heart.  Though I waywardly stray from His will, He brings me back to the center of it.  He’s such a good Father!  He has such an endless supply of love and mercy.

When we follow Him, we find rest from the worry that comes from trusting in ourselves and planning our own futures.  Because never in our own planning and striving do we find true rest or peace.  We are always working to get ahead of the potential obstacles and shortcomings.  Always needing a Plan B.  Always wondering what’s coming up around the bend.  When our horse might veer off the path or come to a screeching halt without warning.

I think it’s in connecting to the Vine that we find the peace we long for.  When we connect heart-to-heart with Him, we experience His goodness, His kindness, His faithfulness.  We realize that He has our best in mind.  He has good things for us.  We can trust Him - with ourselves and our children.  When we stay connected to His heart, we discern His voice and glimpse His plans.  We hear His encouraging words that say, “Keep going, baby girl.  We are together in this.  I won’t let you down.”

It’s in those moments of sweet intimacy with Him that we find the rest we need and become centered once again on Him.  We let go of our tight grip on the reins and relax into Him.  We allow Him to take the lead and carry us onward.  His eyes don’t fail in the darkness.  Darkness is light to Him.  He knows what’s coming up ahead and is prepared for it.  His legs don’t falter against the terrain.  He is steady.  He is calm.  He is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control - all rolled into One.  There is no fear of being thrown, because His strength is surefooted and controlled.  

Yes, He is the One to trust in.  He is our Faithful and True.  He is the One Who will deliver us safely to our destination.  He will be the One that loves us unconditionally the whole way there.  It is He.  Our Lord and our God.  Praise and honor and glory belong to Him!  

Thank you, God, for being so trustworthy.  Help us to remember and put our trust in You alone.  Keep us centered and continually speak to our hearts.  Give us courage to let go of the reins and just let You have your way.  Your strength carries us further than we could ever hope to carry ourselves. And Your goodness brings us peace.  

Now and Then

Here we go!  It’s back to school time.  A flurry of shopping for school supplies and sneakers, teacher meet-and-greets, school tours and more has braced us for the fact it’s time to start a new year.  Excitement mixed with a dab of anxiety swirls together on each of my kids’ faces.  

Summer was so welcomed by all.  But just as it always does, summer came and went so quickly.  As a mom, I want to hold onto summer with two hands and wrestle to keep it here a little longer.  Although on days when my kids are less than happy with one another at home, letting go doesn’t seem so bad!   

As a youth, I couldn’t wait for the next phase. I was always reaching for the next season. From middle school to high school.  High school to college.  Then I couldn’t wait to be done with school in general so I could enter the “real”  world.  (That one was sheer ignorance!)   Later, it grew into a longing to be married.  Then to have a baby.  Then for the next phase of growth in those babies that did come.  

I suppose it’s natural.  We are maturing, transforming, evolving.  Some might say it was a lack of contentment.  If that is so, then contentment for me was evasive.  I slipped in and out of it like the tides.  But I’m increasingly aware that the contentment, the satisfaction we crave, can only be found in the Lord.  Our lives need to be grounded in Him, for in Him we find our true selves and fall into a sweet place of worship.  

There’s a tension between living in the present but living for the future.  I love my kids being at home with me but long to see what they will grow up to become.  I love their innocent childhood, yet anticipate their launch into adulthood.  Don’t get me wrong, I will always wish I could hold them a little longer.  Snuggle them a little closer.  But part of what makes motherhood so amazing is seeing them fly.  

Still, this tension between now and then.  I have been saved, but I look forward to the full salvation that comes when Christ returns.  I love this dance with God as He teaches me more about Himself (and myself), yet I can hardly wait to see Him face to face in all His glory.  I love living life with my family in the beauty of His creation, but know there’s a coming kingdom “home” that is so much better.  There is contentment yet reaching.  

We just need to make sure that what we are reaching for is the Lord.  We are reaching for His goodness.  We are reaching for His likeness.  Not striving, because Jesus has gifted us with salvation and right standing with God.  But reaching for the ‘more’ that God has promised us.  The abundant life that He holds for us.  The connection, the abiding in Him, that is offered to us.   

David cried out to the Lord from the desert He found himself in:

O God, you are my God;

   I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you;

   my whole body longs for you

in this parched and weary land

   where there is no water.

I have seen you in your sanctuary

   and gazed upon your power and glory.

Your unfailing love is better than life itself;

   how I praise you!

I will praise you as long as I live,

   lifting up my hands to you in prayer.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast.

   I will praise you with songs of joy.

I lie awake thinking of you,

   meditating on you through the night.

Psalm 63:1-6

Though David was in the wilderness, He focused His gaze on the One Who is and is to come.  He found contentment in His God.  Though David’s circumstances may not have been ideal, He was grounded in the salvation and deliverance of God Most High.  He worshipped.  He worshipped who God was for Him in the desert, and He worshipped who God would be in the future.  He looked forward to the day when God would silence the liars, those plotting to destroy him.  

Because you are my helper,

   I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.

I cling to you;

   your strong right hand holds me securely.

But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.

   They will go down into the depths of the earth

They will die by the sword

   and become the food of jackals.

But the king will rejoice in God.

   All who swear to tell the truth will praise him,

   while liars will be silenced.

Psalm 63:7-11

I, too, look forward to the day when God silences the liar.  When He forever destroys the enemy and the grave.  In the meantime, I will praise my God who is and is to come.  I will worship Him in the beauty of His splendor, both now and then.  Now in part, then in full.  

God, I thank You for saving me.  I thank You for the glimpse at Your majesty that inspires my worship.  I thank You for being here with me in the present.  But I also look forward to the day when you come back for me and take me to my heavenly home with our whole family.  I pray that You give me eyes to see what You’re doing now and what You will do then.  I pray that my contentment and satisfaction will always and only be found in You.  It is You I praise and long for in this dry and weary land.  It is You I will praise and be with in paradise forever.  I love You. Amen.